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Not good enough...

12/22/2021

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“Not Good Enough” - more than any other internal messaging that comes from the mind, this is one that is prevalent in so many aspects of our lives. 
​Can you relate to feeling:
  • discontent with what is happening in your life?
  • embarrassed or ashamed of aspects of yourself you can't change?
  • longing for things to be different?

Do you believe that:
  • others are "better off" than you?
  • others are judging or criticizing you?
  • you're falling short or not living up to expectations you’ve set for yourself?
​We have a tendency to judge ourselves as being "Not Good Enough", which affects our relationship with ourselves, others, and the world around us.
​​Whether we realize it or not, we are constantly judging and assessing​ what is happening around and within us.

​And many times, it is this messaging – Not Good Enough – that acts as a driving force.
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​It’s an evolutionary thing. We are wired to feel an urge for “more”. This has the potential to be interpreted as being selfish or greedy, but it’s really not. It’s part of being human – that drive is there to ensure your survival. 
​We become discontent with what we have – what is familiar – and feel a pull to seek out something more, something different.

​If we were to become complacent, we would stop growing, evolving, and experiencing. We would miss out of having a rich + full human experience.
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​The mind’s number one priority is security and survival. It constantly compares who we are and what we have to what other people have and who they are. Well, who and what we perceive others to be and have.

The mind is always on the look-out for ways we may be falling short, ways that we may be unacceptable to others. 
​100,000 years ago this ensured our ancestors' survival, and we have inherited that same wiring. Only now, instead of comparing ourselves to small groups, we are connected worldwide.

​So, of course someone is always going to be doing “better” than you – it is inevitable. But the part of your mind that is doing the judging doesn’t know that.
I have heard lack of self-acceptance described as an epidemic and as a Coach I definitely agree. We focus on all that we perceive as wrong or lacking with us and discount all of our wonderful qualities and experiences.
​Knowing this, that “Not Good Enough” is part of the natural wiring in your mind, helps to build awareness and remove shame and judgment.

​
Going through life with a “Not Good Enough” viewpoint/outlook is only a “bad” thing when you are unconscious to it, when you are being dragged along by your urges for more and your beliefs about what they mean. 
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​We are here to experience things, to identify our preferences and to CREATE, to draw more to us. But when we are doing it as a way to make us “feel better”, we are going to suffer. Nothing external to us can “make” us feel anything. It’s an inside job.
​Once you are able to see this more clearly, the messaging that you are Not Good Enough won’t pack quite the same punch.
Learn More about a unique coaching approach that blends psychology, brain-science, and elements of spirituality

Author

Learn more about Bobbi Beuree, Halifax-based Coach + Facilitator

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    Author

    Bobbi Beuree, Certified CAN  Coach + Facilitator is located in Halifax, NS, and provides interactive 1:1 coaching services, as well as corporate workshops.

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    Blog list:

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    Childhood Conditioning + Emotional Programming
    The Suffering of Worry
    The Trap of Being Future-Focused
    "Not Good Enough"...
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    Why Are We Afraid to Hope?
    Loss + Grief Through the Lens of Mindset
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    Are Anticipation and Anxiety the Same Thing?
    Radical Acceptance in the Face of Uncertainty
    The Myth of Self-Sabotage
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    Wake Up to Who You Truly Are
    We Create Our Experiences in Our Mind
    Emotions, Mortality, and Connecting More Deeply
    Is Your Thinking Holding You Back?
    We Create Our Own Stress
    Practicing Radical Acceptance
    Accept, Adapt, Move Forward - Developing Resilience
    The W-Curve of Change
    Student Challenges in Post-Secondary Programs
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Copyright © 2019-2022 Bobbi Beuree, East Coast Coaching & Consulting. All Rights Reserved ​
  • Home
  • About
  • Connect
  • Blog
    • Mindset Monday video series
  • Why Coaching?
  • Key Topics
    • Stress Management
    • Practicing Healthy Self-Care
    • Dealing with Difficult Emotions
    • Thinking Traps and Limiting Beliefs
    • Procrastination and Lack of Motivation
    • Gaining Control Over Habits
    • Life Direction
    • Mindfulness
    • Emotional Intelligence
    • Self-Management
    • Interpersonal Relationships
    • Anxiety
    • Perfectionism
    • Self-Esteem + Self-Confidence