We have a tendency to judge ourselves as being Not Good Enough, which affects our relationship with ourselves, others, and the world around us. Whether we realize it or not, we are constantly judging what is happening around and within us. And many times, it is this messaging – Not Good Enough – that acts as a driving force.
It’s an evolutionary thing. We are wired to feel an urge for “more”. This has the potential to be interpreted as being selfish or greedy, but it’s really not. It’s part of being human – that drive is there to ensure your survival.
We become discontent with what we have – what is familiar – and feel a pull to seek out something more, something different. If we were to become complacent, we would stop growing, evolving, and experiencing. We would miss out of having a rich + full human experience.
The mind’s number one priority is security and survival. It constantly compares who we are and what we have to what other people have and who they are. Well, who and what we perceive others to be and have. The mind is always on the look-out for ways we may be falling short, ways that we may be unacceptable to others.
100,000 years ago this ensured our ancestors' survival and we have inherited that same wiring. Only now, instead of comparing ourselves to small groups, we are connected worldwide. So, of course someone is always going to be doing “better” than you – it is inevitable. But the part of your mind that is doing the judging doesn’t know that.
I have heard lack of self-acceptance described as an epidemic and as a Coach I definitely agree. We focus on all that we perceive as wrong or lacking with us and discount all of our wonderful qualities and experiences.
Knowing this, that “Not Good Enough” is part of the natural wiring in your mind, helps to build awareness and remove shame and judgment. Going through life with a “Not Good Enough” viewpoint/outlook is only a “bad” thing when you are unconscious to it, when you are being dragged along by your urges for more and your beliefs about what they mean.
We are here to experience things, to identify our preferences and to CREATE, to draw more to us. But when we are doing it as a way to make us “feel better”, we are going to suffer. Nothing external to us can “make” us feel anything. It’s an inside job.
Once you are able to see this more clearly, the messaging that you are Not Good Enough won’t pack quite the same punch.
Providing 1:1 coaching that blends psychology, brain-science, and elements of spirituality - learn more
Learn more about Bobbi Beuree, Halifax-based Coach + Facilitator
Bobbi Beuree, Certified CAN Coach + Facilitator is located in Halifax, NS, and provides interactive 1:1 coaching services, as well as corporate workshops.