But luckily, I was also feeling a deep pull to something I couldn’t quite yet envision but knew, deep down, was waiting for me to discover and explore it. Something I had been feeling pulled to for a long time.
So, I took a literal leap of faith. I left the comfort of “stability” – or at least knowing what to expect – and leapt. My final day of work was exactly four months after I had this very simple, and yet very powerful, realization: “I don’t have to do this anymore.”
In that moment, I saw clearly that I had been stuck in a story of my own making.
I had felt stuck and powerless, telling myself that I needed to earn the exact salary I was making, that what was happening was “unfair” and “wrong”, that I shouldn’t have to be the one to leave, that I had no other options, and on and on.
That simple realization – "I don’t have to do this anymore" – shifted something deep inside of me.
I looked back at other difficult and painful experiences in my life and realized that each one of them came with their own opportunities to grow and heal.
In that moment I saw that there would be a time when I would look back on that terribly difficult three-year period and be grateful for it.
Looking back, I saw how much I had to stuff down in order to stay as long as I did.
And just as I suspected, I quickly became so grateful that things got as bad as they did.
They had to. Otherwise, I would have listened to the stories my mind was telling me and continued to settle. I would have stayed and missed out on the incredible insights and healing I’ve experienced since then.
My faith has grown so substantially since taking that terrifying leap.
I feel guided by Life and trust that I don’t have to have it all figured out.
All the fears my mind told me – “you’ll lose everything!”, “you’ll regret it!”, and on and on turned out not to be true.
I continue to be financially independent even though I haven’t had a regular pay cheque in 2.5 years and I have not regretted my decision for even a second.
I allow myself to be pulled to opportunities that feel meant for me and release those that do not. I feel like I am in the flow of Life, and I am so grateful that I did not allow fear to hold me back.
Just know that your mind will fight to keep you where you are. It wants you safe and safe, to the mind, equals familiar. It will tell you stories, just like mine did, just like all minds do. It will send scary images and sensations. It will convince you that the future is a scary place and that the risk is just not worth it.
I am here to say, based on my experiences of Life, that it is. It is worth the uncertainty, worth feeling those scary fears and feelings, and making the change anyway.
Where there is fear on one side, just know that there is freedom on the other side.
Learn More about Core-level Coaching
Learn more about Bobbi Beuree, Nova Scotia-based Coach + Facilitator
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Bobbi Beuree, Certified CAN Coach + Facilitator is located Nova Scotia and provides interactive 1:1 coaching services, as well as group coaching events.