It would seem that we have collectively convinced ourselves and one another that the future, which exists only in our mind, will be so much better than the present moment. It’s a mind-trap! It keeps our attention and focus trapped on the level of thinking and we’re missing out on fully living our life in the moment.
You can imagine what you might want and how you might feel in this imagined future, based on who you are at this exact moment in time. But that version of “you” in the future will not be the same version of “you” in this moment. You will have gone through things between now and then. You will have gained new insights and will likely have experienced a shift in your core values. You may have different people, different situations, and different priorities in your life. You will have faced challenges and perhaps encountered loss. Everything you know today could change tomorrow - in any one of a million ways.
The mind is trying to be helpful, to provide stability and help you feel prepared to face whatever may come. And to stay safe in the process. That is the main job our mind has – to ensure our survival. But, it can’t possibly imagine who or how you will be next year because it has no idea what you will go through and encounter between now and then.
You can remain flexible with what comes your way and practice acceptance for that which is beyond your control. You can venture outside your comfort zone and try new things. You can set an intention on who you want to BE, rather than what you want to do and have, and allow that to act as a guiding force. And you can practice tapping into your emotions. If you are feeling joyful, excited, loving, enthusiastic, or peaceful – it’s a pretty good indication that you’re on the right track. Our emotions can act as messengers. When you experience anxiety and worry, it is a clear message that you are caught up in your thinking and out of the present moment. Return again and again to being present, to gratitude + appreciation, to acceptance, and to living in a way that feels authentic to you.
When your energy and focus is on the future, on wanting what you don’t currently have, it can’t be used to create what you actually want to have, do, and be. Your future self will thank you for taking the time to invest in your present-moment self. Providing 1:1 coaching that blends psychology, brain-science, and elements of spirituality - learn more AuthorLearn more about Bobbi Beuree, Halifax-based Coach + Facilitator
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We have a tendency to judge ourselves as being Not Good Enough, which affects our relationship with ourselves, others, and the world around us. Whether we realize it or not, we are constantly judging what is happening around and within us. And many times, it is this messaging – Not Good Enough – that acts as a driving force. It’s an evolutionary thing. We are wired to feel an urge for “more”. This has the potential to be interpreted as being selfish or greedy, but it’s really not. It’s part of being human – that drive is there to ensure your survival. We become discontent with what we have – what is familiar – and feel a pull to seek out something more, something different. If we were to become complacent, we would stop growing, evolving, and experiencing. We would miss out of having a rich + full human experience.
100,000 years ago this ensured our ancestors' survival and we have inherited that same wiring. Only now, instead of comparing ourselves to small groups, we are connected worldwide. So, of course someone is always going to be doing “better” than you – it is inevitable. But the part of your mind that is doing the judging doesn’t know that. I have heard lack of self-acceptance described as an epidemic and as a Coach I definitely agree. We focus on all that we perceive as wrong or lacking with us and discount all of our wonderful qualities and experiences. Knowing this, that “Not Good Enough” is part of the natural wiring in your mind, helps to build awareness and remove shame and judgment. Going through life with a “Not Good Enough” viewpoint/outlook is only a “bad” thing when you are unconscious to it, when you are being dragged along by your urges for more and your beliefs about what they mean. We are here to experience things, to identify our preferences and to CREATE, to draw more to us. But when we are doing it as a way to make us “feel better”, we are going to suffer. Nothing external to us can “make” us feel anything. It’s an inside job. Once you are able to see this more clearly, the messaging that you are Not Good Enough won’t pack quite the same punch. Providing 1:1 coaching that blends psychology, brain-science, and elements of spirituality - learn more AuthorLearn more about Bobbi Beuree, Halifax-based Coach + Facilitator |
