When we have a strong emotional reaction to something, we tend to focus in on what has happened. We think it's what is causing us to feel the way we do.
Something in the present moment, maybe something someone has said or done, has touched on a painful program within you.
Some common core wounds from childhood include: "I'm not worthy, wanted, or loved", "I'm bad, wrong, defective", "I'm a burden, a problem", "I'm unimportant or not good enough", just to name a few.
What's behind your REACTION? What is in there – what old beliefs, what emotional wounds from the past, what faulty interpretations?
What’s the ammunition that’s inside you? Dr. Gabor Mate, in one of his videos, states that when we get upset or reactive, we tend to focus in on the “trigger” – on the situation that is happening, instead of investigating the emotional pain that we’ve stored inside of us that is coming to the surface.
If you didn’t have old emotional wounds inside of you, nothing anyone said or did would impact you.
It's a good indication that an old emotional wound has been reopened when your reaction to a situation is out of proportion to what's happened. Often, in retrospect, we'll be the first to say, "Wow, I don't why I got that upset over something so small!"
And here's the thing - life will continue to bring you opportunities, whether you like it or not, to bring up and release the pain that you’ve stored inside.
In order to start healing your emotional wounds, you have to be willing to feel what is painful, instead of pushing it down, avoiding it, or distracting yourself from it.
Go into it – soften – allow it to be there. Let yourself feel it.
With practice, you can start to recognize when an old core belief from the past has been triggered and is driving your reactions.
You can see the patterns that have developed throughout your life that are now limiting and destructive.
You can even start to name it when you see it rise up - "there is the "I'm not lovable" story", for example.
It can be difficult to release that old, painful energy that’s been stored and accumulated inside. But your happiness and well-being count on you being willing to recognize what is happening and committing to feeling your full range of emotions.
Learn More about Core-level Coaching
Learn more about Bobbi Beuree, Nova Scotia-based Coach + Facilitator
Bobbi Beuree, Certified CAN Coach + Facilitator is located Nova Scotia and provides interactive 1:1 coaching services, as well as group coaching events.