The trap of being future-focused
As a Coach + Facilitator, I am seeing so many people who are completely future-focused, to the extent that it is causing suffering.
It would seem that we have collectively convinced ourselves and one another that the future, which exists only in our mind, will be so much better than the present moment. It’s a mind-trap! It keeps our attention and focus trapped on the level of thinking and we’re missing out on fully living our life in the moment.
You can imagine what you might want and how you might feel in this imagined future, based on who you are at this exact moment in time. But that version of “you” in the future will not be the same version of “you” in this moment.
You will have gone through things between now and then. You will have gained new insights and will likely have experienced a shift in your core values.
You may have different people, different situations, and different priorities in your life.
You will have faced challenges and perhaps encountered loss. Everything you know today could change tomorrow - in any one of a million ways.
The mind is trying to be helpful, to provide stability and help you feel prepared to face whatever may come. And to stay safe in the process. That is the main job our mind has – to ensure our survival.
But, it can’t possibly imagine who or how you will be next year because it has no idea what you will go through and encounter between now and then.
You can remain flexible with what comes your way and practice acceptance for that which is beyond your control. You can venture outside your comfort zone and try new things.
You can set an intention on who you want to BE, rather than what you want to do and have, and allow that to act as a guiding force.
And you can practice tapping into your emotions. If you are feeling joyful, excited, loving, enthusiastic, or peaceful – it’s a pretty good indication that you’re on the right track. Our emotions can act as messengers.
When you experience anxiety and worry, it is a clear message that you are caught up in your thinking and out of the present moment. Return again and again to being present, to gratitude + appreciation, to acceptance, and to living in a way that feels authentic to you.
When your energy and focus is on the future, on wanting what you don’t currently have, it can’t be used to create what you actually want to have, do, and be. Your future self will thank you for taking the time to invest in your present-moment self.
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Learn more about Bobbi Beuree, Halifax-based Coach + Facilitator
12/31/2021 01:02:32 pm
This post is most interesting and filled with well thought out theries, particularly at our stage of life. It is so funny how our wants, needs and importance varies from starting a couple's lives together to 60 years later and everybodies unique and different wants, needs and surprises that pop up over the years.
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Bobbi Beuree, Certified CAN Coach + Facilitator is located in Halifax, NS, and provides interactive 1:1 coaching services, as well as corporate workshops.