How did you resist it? Maybe you wished it away or cursed the fact that it was there? Maybe you complained about it to others or spent your time trying to figure out why it was happening? Maybe you invested all your energy in fighting against it?
It’s typically not difficult for people to come up with a few scenarios. I know that I certainly can. That’s because it’s a normal, natural part of being human to reflect back on aspects of our past we once judged or condemned when we reach new insights or see things from a clearer vantage point.
It has changed my outlook and perspective into one that allows for peace of mind, hope, optimism, and deep acceptance, even in the midst of challenging situations. It’s something I would like to share with you in the hope that you will find it as helpful as I do.
By reminding myself with that phrase – “Amor Fati” – I remember that none of us can see “the big picture of Life”. So then, I remind myself that ultimately, in the long run, I really don’t know if something is “wrong” or “bad” or any other negative impression I have of it.
I’ve had enough challenging experiences in my life, as I'm sure you have, to know that nothing is “all bad” and nothing is “all good”. By embracing that middle ground and searching for the positives in every situation your mind wants to label as bad or wish away, you can experience a sense of well-being - even in the midst of the situations that are challenging and feel painful.
Back in the Spring, I had another opportunity to allow the life philosophy of Amor Fati to guide my perspective. I pursued a live-in work opportunity that I had identified as being “perfect!” It would have meant selling my house, which would have provided financial security. It would have allowed me to do work that I love part-time, while still having the autonomy to maintain my coaching practice.
I was able to recognize that my mind had loved creating a story of how everything would unfold so perfectly once I got the job. But I had the renewed realization that there was actually no way to KNOW that.
I realized that if I could honestly say that I had invested 100% in exploring the opportunity and it didn’t work out the way my mind decided it “should”, then it was truly okay.
Even though the entire scenario seemed "perfect" to my rational, present-moment mind, when things didn’t unfold in the way I had been hoping or planning for, I had a choice.
I could fall into disappointment or despair that things didn’t turn out the way my mind had decided they should. Or I could choose to believe that Life had my back, redirecting me away from something that was actually not mine to experience, or may have ultimately not been good for me.
When things didn't go as planned, I realized that I had still gotten to experience positive emotions - excitement, hope, joy, enthusiasm - so how could it be a "bad thing".
So, instead of caring less, I have discovered that adopting this life philosophy brings with it the potential to become more passionately engaged with life. You follow the pulls and inclinations toward what interests you, what you enjoy, what you want to experience. It’s ACTIVE, giving your all to what feels right to you.
The key is, if that doesn’t work out the way your mind has convinced you it has to for you to be happy or okay, you fully accept it.
Remember, just because your mind convinces you of how everything is going to, or should, unfold, there’s really no way to know what is ultimately in your best interests.
Choose to believe that Life has your back. Even when what is showing up in your life is not want you would consciously, intentionally choose, practice trusting that it is all happening exactly as it is meant to.
This is in no way denial or wishful thinking – it is acknowledging the fact that you, ultimately, don’t know if it is good or bad.
As you settle more and more into this philosophy, you start to see circumstances and scenarios completely differently.
You experience a sense of flow and become more flexible in how you approach challenging situations.
Intentionally choosing acceptance over resistance frees up your energy so that you can pursue what you want, instead of focusing on and energizing what you don't.
Learn More about a unique coaching approach that blends psychology, brain-science, and elements of spirituality
Learn more about Bobbi Beuree, Halifax-based Coach + Facilitator
Bobbi Beuree, Certified CAN Coach + Facilitator is located in Halifax, NS, and provides interactive 1:1 coaching services, as well as corporate workshops.